Naruto Writes a Fanfic
by hopelina
Summary: hopelina: I'll put the disclaimer here and let Naruto take care of the rest. I don't own the characters. - Naruto: This is when I wrote that crackfick! Sasuke helped kinda, but not that much. Yaoi/shonen ai theme


**Dumb Blond Writes a Fanfiction**

Hmm... Okay, how should I start? Oh, I know! "With a..." I whisper, my thoughts to strong to be confined in the spaces of my crowded mind.

**Disclaimer: I do not own**

I stare at the words on the screen. I'll write about:

**Kingdom Hearts.**

Haha! After all, a Kingdom Hearts fanfiction is what inspired this. It was _so_ hillarious, I nearly peed myself. They called it a "crackfic." I figure that just means the fanfiction is random, not that whoever wrote it was on crack. I do NOT want to do crack – it would be a bad example as future President. So, anyway, what should I write? Something funny. Something original.

**Sora ate Riku's hair.**

That should do it!

As I search my mind for Riku's reaction, a rush of wind shoots beads of sharp raindrops at my face. It's too hard to shield my face and see the culprit at the same time, so I wait until it stops to turn my head to the direction of my sudden attack.

Oh my God! There's nothing! The window just opened its self! Does that mean - ?!

I release a full, blood-curdling scream, "_GHOST!_"

My head turns to the sound of snickers before I tell it to. Oh, shit.

"Sasuke?" I exclaim, my breath still hitching. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

He sits down on my bed, elbow on his knee and face in his hand. He looks completely indifferent.

I shake my head, deciding to get back to my story. To do that, I first have to rid the room of my unexpected guest – reading fanfiction is my dirty little secret. This is my first attempt of writing one. "Never mind that, what the hell are you doing here?"

Sitting up straight, he uses the hand that was just touching his face to gesture for me to come closer to him. Minimizing the window on my computer, I do as he says. He's never acted like this before, so I can't help but be curious.

I nearly jump out my skin when he takes my lips between his own. A wave of electricity moves from my lips, across my face and down my neck. Sasuke is... When he pulls back, though, the hand I wasn't paying attention to takes a picture with a tiny camera that was probably hidden in his pocket.

Fuck! My face just then was probably totally embarrasing! _WHY DID HE DO THAT?!_

He laughs. Oh my god, my life is over.

I dash over to my computer in attempt to run away from my reality.

**He sdidd it for a bet and he wan rt to riop hids eyes out and smash his cranei and kill ur exttieminate it doctor wo amnd desotry it ovber and over.**

My hands typed faster than I could think, instantly roaming the keyboard to type everything in my mind down at once. It came out a bit of a wreck, so I fix all the words on the screen. This should be funny, right?

**He did it for a bet and now Riku hates him and wants to rip his eyes out and smash his camera and killl it, extermintae Doctor Who it, and destroy it it over and over.**

**The end.**

I save the document and post it on fanfiction, my mind almost completely leaving the black-haired teen who barged into my house for who knows what reason. I whine aloud when I find out I have to fill out a bunch of categories in order to post my story. I name it "Crackfick".

I feel a cold hand on my bare shoulder(how was I supposed to know I'd have company?) and I'm about to let out another shriek when I realize how unmanly that would be, and how I'm already stripped of my pride. I look over at Sasuke for the third time today.

My breath escalates as my lips touch the amazing bishonen's {[(-A/N: I put this in just before I posted this. Take that, Sasuke! XD! Oh, and did you know I'm in a bajillion fanfics?! WTF?!-)]}{[(-I didn't know what "{[(-)]}" sign to use for AN, so I used them all.-)]}, once again.

This time, I smack him across the face. It hurt so Sasuke cried like a baby! e rolled his eyes and showed me the camera. It was off. "I didn't do it for a bet, Dobe. I did it to see you're expression after our first real kiss... Sakura told me she found fanfiction of us on your mp3 player, so I couldn't resist coming over here to find you..."

My heart nearly burst through my ribcage.

Sasuke won't let me give details of our hot, passionate sex.

And so, to RoxasAndAxelBondageSmexiWow, who posted **"This is too short, it makes no sense, and the title should probably be 'Crackfic' or 'Crack Fic'."** on "Crackfick" can go suck it! If you don't understand why I typed what I did, now that you know the story, and now you think it's funny!

Anything that makes sense in this is work of Sasuke, including the "Dumb Blond" in the title, which Naruto is probably going to be to stupid to backspace and change, and will probably add in a stupid author's note somewhere in the fanfiction where I won't bother looking because I'm tired of editting his fanfic – this is the only way he'll let me tie him up during sex without him yelling the safeword over and over again. And I don't care who knows it, because you'll know soon enough when his screams of _pleasure_ echo throughout the neighborhood. Have a nice night.


End file.
